10 Soulful Questions That’ll Help You Finally Figure Out What You Want in Life

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10 Questions That’ll Help You Finally Figure Out What You Want in Life

No one talks about this part of starting over, the quiet confusion that creeps in when you’re trying to figure out what you want in life but can’t find the words for it. You’ve done the journaling, read the self-help books, maybe even changed jobs or cities. And yet, there’s still that quiet ache inside.

I get it. Because I’ve been there too, sitting on my bed at 2 a.m., staring at the ceiling, wondering why I couldn’t just “figure out” my life already.

Here’s the thing:
Clarity doesn’t come from waiting for an epiphany. It comes from asking better questions. So today, I want to share 10 powerful, soul-stirring questions that helped me (and so many other women) get out of the fog and back into alignment. These aren’t quick fixes. They’re invitations to go deeper to rediscover what truly lights you up. These 10 questions changed everything for me. And if you’ve been searching for direction or that spark again, they might just do the same for you.

Grab your journal (I personally love this simple hardcover one from Amazon, it’s chic, minimal, and feels like a fresh start every time I open it), pour a cup of something warm, and let’s talk.

10 Questions That’ll Help You Figure Out What You Want in Life

When you’re trying to figure out what you want in life, it’s not about big goals; it’s about small moments of truth. These questions helped me finally figure out what I want in life, not just what looked good on paper.

1. What parts of my life make me feel alive and what parts drain me?

The truth is, most of us don’t stop long enough to notice how our daily choices make us feel. We stay in jobs that make us anxious. Keep saying yes to people who exhaust us. And wonder why we’re so disconnected. Here’s what I learned the hard way: clarity often hides in contrast.

Sometimes the fastest way to figure out what you want in life is by noticing everything that no longer feels right. Notice the small things. What conversations make your eyes light up? When do you feel peaceful? When do you feel like you’re shrinking? That’s your soul whispering. Start listening.

I started using these pastel sticky notes to label “energy-draining” vs. “energy-giving” moments throughout my week. Seeing it on paper was eye-opening. Because once you see your patterns, you can’t unsee them. You start realizing how much time you spend on things that don’t actually move you forward. And how the smallest moments, a quiet morning walk, a genuine laugh, an idea that excites you, carry the clues you’ve been missing. Your energy tells the truth long before your mind catches up. So pay attention to it. Protect it. Because the life you want is built around what fuels you, not what drains you.

2. If no one judged me or expected anything, what would I do differently?

This one hit me like a punch in the gut. The truth is, you can’t figure out what you want in life if you’re still performing for someone else’s approval.

When I asked myself this question, I realized how much of my life was built around what looked “impressive,” not what felt aligned. But the question that changed everything was this:

“If I didn’t have to prove myself to anyone, what would I choose?”

My answer shocked me. I’d start a business and build a life around freedom, not fear.

You might find your answer isn’t glamorous, maybe it’s moving somewhere quieter, quitting that job, starting a business, or starting that garden you’ve been dreaming of. Give yourself permission to answer without editing.. Whatever it is, that’s your truth.

If you need help unpacking what you really want, I love the Start Where You Are journal, it’s filled with gentle questions and watercolor pages that make self-discovery feel calming, not overwhelming. Find it here

3. When have I felt most like myself?

Think back, not just to the big achievements, but the simple moments when you felt most you. Maybe it was hiking alone with your playlist blasting. Or teaching a workshop. Or helping a friend talk through a hard time.

Clarity often comes from remembering who you were before the world told you who to be. If you can reconnect with that energy, even just a little, you’ll start finding your way back home to yourself. Try jotting down those memories in a guided self-discovery workbook. It’s amazing how writing out your “most alive” moments can reveal patterns you never noticed. They’re your breadcrumbs back to purpose.

That’s usually the version of you that already knows how to figure out what you want in life, she’s just been waiting for you to listen.

4. What am I no longer willing to tolerate?

We talk a lot about what we want… but not enough about what we’re done with.

I got clear when I finally said: I’m done with self-doubt. I’m done saying yes to things that drain me. I’m done apologizing for wanting more.

What are you done with? Toxic people? Settling for “fine”? Overworking yourself into exhaustion?

Every “no more” is a declaration of self-worth. It’s you taking your power back. One book that helped me practice this daily was Set Boundaries, Find Peace. It’s not just about saying no, it’s about finally giving yourself permission to choose peace.

5. What have I always been curious about but never explored?

Sometimes your purpose doesn’t come from passion; it starts with curiosity.

I used to think I needed this perfect five-year plan, the job, the house, the “timeline.” But the truth? I just needed some honest moments with myself. I remember sitting one night and thinking, What actually makes me curious anymore?
That’s when realization hit me, I missed reading. I missed deep conversations. I missed feeling useful, helping people figure things out.

I learned that to figure out what you want in life, you don’t need confidence; you just need curiosity and a little bit of courage to follow it. Follow what fascinates you, even if you’re not “good” at it yet. Curiosity is your compass. It doesn’t always shout, “This is your purpose!” Sometimes it just whispers, “Hey, try this.” Maybe you’ve always wanted to paint, start a podcast, or travel solo. Follow that nudge even if it doesn’t make sense. Because here’s what I’ve found: clarity often comes after action, not before it.

If you need a playful way to explore this, try a vision board journal like this one. It’s part journal, part creativity exercise, and it helps you dream without pressure.

6. Who inspires me, and why?

No, not the influencer kind of inspiration. I mean, real inspiration people whose lives make you feel something.

When I looked closer, the women who inspired me weren’t perfect. They were just authentic, brave and unapologetically themselves. The lesson? It’s not about copying someone else’s life; it’s about noticing what feelings their life awakens in you. Do they make you crave peace? Freedom? Creativity? Excitement? Those emotions are clues that reveal what you’re craving more of.

Here’s a little journaling hack: Make a list of five people you admire. Then write what about their energy or lifestyle draws you in. You’ll be amazed at what that reveals about your own desires.

I created a section in my planner called “Inspired by Her.” I jot down traits, not things: joy, confidence, soft strength. I use this undated minimalist planner to keep track.

7. What would my ideal day look like if I could start from scratch?

This one was surprisingly emotional.

I sat down and wrote out my dream day, from how I wake up to how I spend my evenings. I didn’t filter it or try to be practical. And when I read it back, I realized how far my current life was from the one I truly wanted. But instead of spiraling, I started making micro shifts.

Your dream life starts with your dream day.

And once you visualize it, you can start building small habits that bring that version of life closer. Even one aligned choice, like journaling before your phone scroll or cooking dinner without rushing, builds that vision. If you want to map out your ideal lifestyle, The Clarity Journal helps you do exactly that. Check it out here.

8. What am I afraid would happen if I actually went for what I want?

Here’s what no one tells you: confusion often masks fear.

I once read on Psychology Today that fear often hides behind indecision, and that hit me hard. Most of us aren’t actually confused; we’re scared to want more.

Fear disguises itself as confusion; it convinces you that you don’t know how to figure out what you want in life, when really, you’re just scared to want more. I used to say, “I don’t know what I want.” But deep down, I did. I just didn’t want to face how scary it felt to go after it.

Fear isn’t the enemy; it’s a compass pointing to where you need courage. Ask yourself: What’s the worst that could happen? And then, what’s the best? That reframe changed everything. If fear’s been keeping you stuck, grab Let That Sht Go*, it’s funny, practical, and exactly the reminder we all need to stop overthinking and start living. You can find it here.

9. What do I want to be remembered for?

It’s a big question, I know. But stay with me.

When you imagine people talking about you years from now, what do you hope they say?

“She was brave.”
“She lifted others up.”
“She lived life on her own terms.”

That’s legacy, and it doesn’t require fame or perfection. Just intention. When you live by your values, even the small moments feel purposeful.

One of the most grounding ways to figure out what you want in life is to think about what you’d want people to remember about you; it instantly brings your priorities into focus.

My favorite prompt for this one? “If I only had five years left, how would I spend them?” Write your honest answer in your journal, no edits, no rules. Whatever comes up, that’s your deeper “why.”

If you loved this reflection, you’ll also enjoy my post on How to Reinvent Yourself After 35 (Even If You Feel Stuck and Lost) it walks you through the exact mindset shifts that helped me start over and create a life that finally feels like mine.

10. If I trusted myself completely, what would I do next?

This is the one that cracked me open.

I realized I’d been waiting for permission from people, from timing, from life itself. But clarity doesn’t come from waiting. It comes from trusting yourself enough to take one small step. That’s how I started this blog. Not because I had it all figured out, but because I finally stopped waiting for perfect. And you know what? That single act of trust led me here, writing to you.

Ready to reinvent yourself? Start small with Atomic Habits by James Clear. It’s one of those books that actually changes how you think, especially if you’re tired of starting over and want real, lasting change. Grab your copy here.

A Little Truth to Leave You With

You don’t need to have your entire life figured out; you just need to start listening to yourself again. Every honest answer you uncover becomes a piece of your map.

If you’re ready to finally figure out what you want in life, start with one small question today.

You’re not lost. You’re rediscovering yourself. So, ask the questions. Sit with them. Let the answers come gently.

And if you’re ready to take this work deeper, download my free guide: The Reinvention Roadmap. It’ll help you start right where you are. Because sometimes, clarity doesn’t come in one big “aha” moment. It comes one brave question at a time.

Xoxo,

I Asked Myself These 10 Questions and Finally Figured Out What I Wanted in Life

10 Questions That’ll Help You Figure Out What You Want in Life

1. What parts of my life make me feel alive and what parts drain me?